Embracing life whatever your age
As a 50 something woman I sometimes reflect on the commonly held belief that it’s a good thing to ‘age gracefully’. It’s not that I want to rebel completely and live out my wildest dreams in an altogether disgraceful and socially unacceptable fashion, but I don’t want to be slotted into the neat pigeonhole, which according to one dictionary definition would be ageing in ‘a polite and pleasant way’ or ‘in a respectful and dignified way’… that hat just doesn’t fit!
Every one has a different understanding of what ageing means to them, for example, if you are a midlife woman whose children have already began their journey of populating the world, you might well be embracing granny-life and not caring a hoot about grey hairs and going to the gym. On the other hand, you may be a newly divorced empty nester who is ready for radical change and that might include hiring a personal trainer or booking your first solo trip to some faraway tropical paradise! I just mean that we’re all so different and the way we choose to age in this life does not have to be put into a box and labeled ‘graceful’ or otherwise.
In this blog I am going to be sharing my favourite tips for embracing your very own ageing journey, so that you can look forward to the passing years with more enthusiasm than you could ever have imagined.
Just be you - everyone else is taken!
In my humble opinion, you can be as graceful or as disgraceful as you like, just make sure you’re being the truest and best version of you. Make sense? In fact I love this quote from David Bowie, which I came across recently and it really resonated with me as someone who is finding more inner strength and confidence in my 5th decade on Planet Earth.
“Ageing is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been”
Growing up I was always very self-conscious and did not have a very strong sense of self, happy to mold myself around the expectations of others, overly concerned about how I was being received in the world, rather than putting my energy and intention into how I really wanted to show up in the world.
As revealed in Bronnie Ware’s publication ‘Regrets of the Dying’ the most commonly expressed deathbed regret of the patients she cared for in their final weeks was this..
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
Whilst this truth makes me a bit sad, it also gives me even greater conviction to make sure that is not my deathbed mantra! To think that millions of people every single day are actually living their lives following someone else’s script, not listening to their own heart, not following their own dreams. I don’t plan on that being me and I certainly don’t want that to be you either.
Keep learning, keep living!
But one mantra I would like to be remembered for is this – “You are never too old to learn something new.” I am a massive fan of learning new things, drawn by ongoing curiosity to many rich treasure troves of new ideas, concepts, and skills. Age is definitely not a barrier of entry whatever you aspire to learn, take it from me! Since turning 50 I have learned a vast array of new skills from building websites to trading crypto currencies and many things in between!
Did you know that when you learn something new it supports brain health and cognitive function? When we challenge ourselves to learn a new skill for example, it means that the brain is actively engaged and is busy laying down new neural pathways. This process in turn increases cognitive function and flexibility, which is incredibly useful, as we get older. Learning new information also requires the brain to create new memories and this has been shown to have a beneficial effect on overall memory function too.
What I also love about learning new things is that it stretches you outside your comfort zone for a while, and then when the pieces start to take shape, and you feel less incompetent, you get a massive boost of confidence. Who doesn’t love the inner glow we feel when we’re proud of something we‘ve achieved? Furthermore, often when we learn something new we start interacting in new social circles, thus enriching our personal life and preventing us from feeling isolated, especially if you live on your own.
Maybe you already know what you’d love to learn or what hobby you’d like to take up, but maybe you need to do a bit of research to find inspiration for what comes next in your learning journey. The choices out there are literally endless, whatever your passions and preferred learning environment. Top of my current hit list is learning to touch type (been avoiding this for years t seems – lol) and reconnecting with my Morris Dancing roots at a local club I am totally unfamiliar with!
What you appreciate, appreciates!
Despite the many advances in scientific frontiers, ageing is still an inevitable process and within it lie many gifts and opportunities, which can be easily missed if you focus too much on what you don’t have ie: youth and smooth skin! With age come greater experience, insight and wisdom, which if appreciated and applied well in your life, can truly enrich your personal and professional relationships.
As we get older we naturally develop greater self-awareness, which in turn allows us to grow on a much deeper level, often able to discover more meaning and purpose in our lives. Looking back at what you have achieved in your life, however big or small, help you to honour and appreciate your unique greatness. Congratulate yourself on making it this far and appreciate every day even if you do have a few more aches and pains!
Acceptance, not throwing in the towel!
Hear my confession – I am not ready to go full grey (although I frequently admire many of my peers sporting glorious grey locks) and every few months I love getting my highlights done and I do not feel I have to justify this, it’s just what I do. I am also not happy about the weight gain of the last few years and to be honest I have been rather rubbish at tackling the matter, but tackling it I am, I am not going to admit defeat to the ‘inevitable’ midlife midriff. I have restated my commitment to getting back into shape, back at the gym 4 times a week, at least 10,000 steps every day and looking at new ways to eat healthier and lose weight.
Whilst I accept the inevitability of getting a year older every 12 months, I don’t accept the inevitability of completely losing control of my physical appearance. I love pampering myself, having facials and getting my nails done, dressing smart or sexy depending on the occasion. I don’t believe that we have to go to battle with our body, resisting change and avoiding surrender at all costs, but we can arrange a negotiated settlement. Why not just do our best to look after and support our bodies however we can? And if you want a tweak here and there to make you feel good, I say ‘go for it’.. your body your choice!
Health and happiness: the perfect pairing
Health takes on a whole new meaning, as we get older. The reality is that the healthier we are, the happier and more fulfilled we will be as we get older. Good health is one of the greatest blessings we can have whatever our age, but as the clock rolls on, maintaining great health is vitally important. I believe firmly in taking responsibility for my health, committed to making healthy lifestyle choices and not succumbing too much to ‘couch potato Netflix’ mode. Moving your body is so important and maintaining flexibility in both body and mind will serve you incredibly well in the years ahead.
I want to reference Bronnie again here, because another top regret of the dying is this..
“I wish I had allowed myself to be happier”
In Bronnie’s own words..
“From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it… many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content… when you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly… choose happiness”
Positivity is my superpower!
On the topic of ageing in the best possible way, my final thoughts are this . Don’t underestimate the influence of the vibes you put out in the world, especially in relation to the degree of seriousness you assign to the ageing process. In my experience, midlife women really do have the best sense of humour, and I love to laugh a lot. Even on the darkest days (and there have been some very recently for me), I can find comfort in the shared intimacy of humour. I have simply stopped taking life (and myself) too seriously. Many of us at this age have already lost friends way too early, and probably one or both of our parents too, so we are definitely under no illusions about our own mortality. But we get it, we know that life is for living, not worrying about who might be next! And as I write these words I instantly recall the immortal words from Monty Python’s Life of Brian which is an apt soundtrack for a more enjoyable and fulfilling life whatever your age!
“Always look on the bright side of life!”
If you any of this resonates with you and you want some inspiration for how to embrace life over 50 on your terms, you might enjoy my FREE downloadable resource to jumpstart your journey: “From Good to Great: reflective solutions for midlife women getting ready to shine!”
